wut?

  • **Got an amazing present for my birthday... "A Year With Swollen Appendices Brian Eno's Diary"... been reading it avidly. ...but i have to admit, it just makes me want to write... so much immature ego in me... terrible. But i'd like ta try it, another attempt at a one-a-day, because it might help to structure my daily perspectives a bit more... If anyone hates this idea, please feel free to let me know here and i'll stop immediately, but if you like this idea, please resist making any comments here or keep them short or whisper to me(or start another thread about it). The reason being that it'll help keep the progression a bit easier for me. Thanks!**

    **//Day1//**

    I hate one-a-days. Should've been titled, "Yet another stupid idea from RajaTheIncoherentDumbass". It's the structure. I've never been able to keep a steady full-time job for over a year, I always start a fight with my bosses or I start dreaming of my politely encouraging resignation letter 4 months in advance. If I had ever found a full-time job i liked, I suppose it would be different. But until then, since I have no kids, seems ok to drift from contract to contract and then over to craigslist to find the shittiest most temporary jobs ever. Probably bad for the economy, though, to have someone so disloyal polluting the workforce, but no one else will ever pay me what it's actually worth to do their work, so the only way to be truly free is to work for oneself and i'm not savvy enough about anything to do that yet.
    And then there's the sales involved in working for yourself. I hate selling things, certainly hate selling myself. Americans are so good at it. Seems like an innate autism... automatism. Folks just start talking about their skills... I've really had to practice that. My father would be disgusted with me, "Americans are just showoffs! Always talking more than they actually do, because they like a big show! They talk even when they have nothing to say! Why you want to be so proud like that?"
    (I guess because you raised me into an American, Dad. He wanted me to be a writer. What a strange thing... not to see music as lucrative, desire a career in writing for your offspring, even though his parents before him deemed this idea as being unlucrative as well, and therefore, the four times i saw them in my whole life, tried to tell me if i was going to be a writer to try and be a journalist.... i still kept telling them i wanted to do music... we're all pretty disappointed, it is rather funny).
    I'm jealous of the sales skill, at the same time disgusted. What is it like? To be able to feel no shame, going to someone else and asking them to part with a share of their hard earned living just to trust you that what you're offering is something that can be placed in the 'good' category of their subjectivity? Let alone is something that they might 'need'? Even though they've obviously been just fine without it before?
    I think the closest i'll ever come to having a hero, might be Richard D. James. Not just because of his music, but because of his insistence on avoiding interviews. How amazing to have created something so beautiful that it simply sells itself. I think I may be getting too old to be able to attain that most crucial of all my dreams. But i'll keep at it, at least some of what i put out there will still remain when i'm dead, who knows what'll happen then? That's one way of gathering hope.

  • (
    TempoClock.tempo = (48/60);
    SynthDef(\kik, { |preamp = 1, amp = 1, curve, kiklen|
    var freq = EnvGen.kr(Env([150, 50, 35, 25], [0.001, 0.2, 0.4], curve), timeScale: kiklen, doneAction: 2),
    sig =
    RLPF.ar(
    LFTri.ar(freq, 0.5pi * LFSaw.ar(Line.kr(150, 30, 0.05), 0.75pi), preamp).ring1(100).distort.clip2.tanh * amp
    * EnvGen.kr(Env([0, 1, 0.5, 0], [0.001, 0.2, 0.4]), timeScale: kiklen),
    Line.kr(300, 25, 0.05), Line.kr(0.01, 0.5, 0.05));
    Out.ar(0, sig ! 2);
    }).add;

    SynthDef(\snare, { |amp = 1, envlp, phase|

    var snareosc, snarenv, snarenoise;
    snarenv = EnvGen.kr(Env.perc(0.001, 0.5, 2, envlp), doneAction: 2);
    snarenoise = PinkNoise.ar * LFTri.ar(SinOsc.ar(35, mul: 400, add: 800), phase);
    snareosc = RHPF.ar(snarenoise, Line.kr(500, 1000, 0.1), Line.kr(0.1, 2, 0.15)).distort.tanh;
    Out.ar(0, (snareosc*snarenv*amp) ! 2);

    }).add;

    SynthDef(\closedhat, {

    var hatosc, hatenv, hatnoise, hatoutput;

    hatnoise = {RLPF.ar(WhiteNoise.ar(1),Line.kr(6000, 50, 0.015), Line.kr(0.1, 0.5, 0.015))};

    hatosc = {RHPF.ar(hatnoise, Line.kr(1000, 5000, 0.015), Line.kr(0.1, 2, 0.015))};
    hatenv = EnvGen.kr(Env.perc(0.001, 1, 1, -8), doneAction: 2);

    hatoutput = (hatosc*hatenv).distort.tanh;

    Out.ar(0,
    Pan2.ar(hatoutput, 0)
    )

    }).add;

    SynthDef(\oscirator1,
    { |freq, len|
    var osc, env, mod, filter, filterenv;

    env = EnvGen.kr(Env([0,0.8,0.5,0.3,0], [0.01, 0.1, 0.04, (len-0.15)], -4), doneAction: 2);
    mod = Pulse.ar((env**8)+freq, 0.5);
    osc = SinOsc.ar(freq, mod);
    filterenv = EnvGen.kr(Env.sine(len, 1));
    filter = BPF.ar(osc, (filterenv**4)+freq, 0.3).ring1(Line.kr(20,0,len)).tanh * env;

    Out.ar(0, filter!2);
    }).add;

    SynthDef(\oscirator2,
    { |freq, len|
    var osc, env, mod, filter, filterenv, out;

    env = EnvGen.kr(Env.triangle(len*2, 0.8), doneAction: 2);
    mod = Saw.ar((env**8)+freq, 0.5);
    osc = SinOscFB.ar(freq, mod);
    filterenv = EnvGen.kr(Env.sine(len+0.4, 1));
    filter = RLPF.ar(osc, (filterenv**4)+freq, 0.3).ring2(Line.kr(SinOsc.kr(0.1,0,1.1, 1.2),0,len*2)).tanh;

    out = AllpassC.ar(filter, 0.5, SinOsc.ar(0.01,0.5pi), SinOsc.ar(0.1,0.5pi), 0.2);
    out = AllpassC.ar(filter, 0.5, SinOsc.ar(0.05,0.5pi,0.3), SinOsc.ar(0.01,0.5pi), 0.2)*env;

    Out.ar(0, out!2);
    }).add;


    SynthDef(\echo, { arg delay = 0.2, decay = 4, amp = 1;
    var in, wet, out;
    in = In.ar(0, 2);
    wet = (in*0.5) * amp;
    out = AllpassC.ar(wet, 1, Lag.kr(delay, 0.25), decay, 1, in);
    ReplaceOut.ar(0, out);
    }).add;

    n = Pbind(\instrument, \oscirator1,
    \delta, 0.125,
    \midinote, Pseq([Pseq([36, \rest, \rest, \rest, 44, 42, 44, 38, \rest, \rest, \rest, 42, \rest, 38, \rest, \rest], 16), Pseq([36, \rest, 36, \rest, 34, 34, \rest, 34, 33, \rest, \rest, \rest, 32, \rest, \rest, 34], 4)], inf),
    \len, 0.25).play(quant:1);

    o = Pbind(\instrument, \oscirator2,
    \delta, 0.125,
    \midinote, Pseq([36, 42, 44, 39, 46, 48, 54, 51], inf) + Pxrand([12, 24, 24, 12, 36], inf),
    \len, 0.3).play(quant:1);

    k = Pbind( \instrument, \kik,
    \delta, Pseq([1, 0.125, 0.25, 0.125, 0.5], inf),
    \preamp, Pseq([4, 1, 2, 3, 1], inf),
    \curve, Pseq([-2, -4, -8, -16, -2],inf),
    \kiklen, Pseq([1, 0.1, 0.5, 0.1, 0.4],inf),
    \amp, 1).play(quant: 1);

    m = Pbind(\instrument, \snare,
    \delta, 0.125,
    \amp, Pseq([Pseq([0, 0, 0, 0, 4, 0, 0, 0], 12),
    Prand([0.15, 4, 0.125, 0, 0.5, 2], 32)],
    inf),
    \envlp, Prand([-16, -24, -32, -64], inf),
    \phase, Prand([0.75pi, 0.5pi, 0.25pi, 0, pi, 0.75pi, 0.5pi, 0.25pi, 0, 0.75pi], inf)).play(quant:1);

    p = Pbind(\instrument, \closedhat,
    \delta, Pwrand([
    Pseq([0.5, 0.0625, 0.0625 + rand(0.001, 0.002), 0.125, 0.25]), Pseq([0.5, 0.0625, 0.125, 0.0625]), Pseq([0.125, 0.125], inf)], [25, 25, 75].normalizeSum, inf)).play(quant: 1);

    l = Pmono(\echo,
    \delay, Pseq([0.125, 0.0625, 0.25], inf) * TempoClock.beatDur,
    \decay, Pxrand([0.5, 1, 0.4, 0.3], inf),
    \amp, Prand([1, 0.1, 0.3, 0.5, 0.8, 0, 0, 0], inf)
    ).play(quant: 1);

    )

  • a sense of humor can save anyone and anything from certain disaster, including the disaster of their own thoughts(and it's the secret to the happiness behind my marriage too).

    "People who know the state of emptiness will always be able to dissolve their problems by constancy." -Shunryu Suzuki('Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind')

  • **//Day21//**

    Got more practice. Got more exercise. Walked among squirrels. Imagined their existence... what ifs. A squirrel's tail is only the part which you see in this universe, elsewhere, they act as nodes, webbed together in a grand communication network. We think they move independently, but they all move with awareness of every single other squirrel on the planet. The real brainheart is just passed the tail.
    Hushed and tentative movements, "Everyone stop! Ok, SammySquirrel, you go first, only 5 inches to the river near 42N 73W! Then DavySquirrel, move all the way across the meadow, but stop before CookieSquirrel does her turn... Namaste, Squitches, make it happen! Don't let the humans sense our hivemind. Full Static On The Rhizomatic!"
    And like that they carry out the master scurry.
    Sammy's got the hots for Cookie. Especially when she does that turn, her tail picks up. Damn, she got moves. Sammy plays it cool. Relaxing with torso stretched before the beaming sun, tail slightly flexed. Through the network, he sends a whisp of signature protease in the form of optical flickers to help her detect his DNA engraved on the celestial web along with all others, so she can measure it up against the 14 other squirrel studs she's had already today. Slut! But Sammy's no snob to sloppy fifteenths. Cookie picks it up on the network, in this universe her nose turns high, trying to act like she's uninterested, but in seconds, they're fucking like rabbits... "nah, only pussies fuck like rabbits", they're fucking like squirrels! and the network shivers and shakes to the rhythm of their orgasmic frenzy. Intimate duet here, universal group fuck there. That's why, all the others, they'll just be sitting there, and all of a sudden you'll see their tail ripple as it catches the energetic rush over their node on the undulating web. Squirrel love, it's a beautiful thing.

    The sun went down over the bay, but the moon, sliced in half, rose over the hills in tandem. This is not a cosmic dance. These are tactical moves. Every thing shifts its place to accommodate the other, finding equal time before shadow and light. Only humans try to act as though they can have independence and freedom. Profit sets the stage for their cosmic dance of survival. While everything else makes tactical moves of collaboration; feeling the connections, there in the rhizoverse, projecting a corporeal abstraction of that macrocosm, here into this universe, a mere microcosm, an insubstantial representation muddied by physics. Humans grapple with this, but are muddled further by emotion. So theirs is more like a dance, a subjective expression. They cling to addictions for a point of reference in this whirlwind of uncontrollable artistry: work, play, food, sex, love, drugs, money... In the future, there will be e-cigarettes with hypercard extensions: so you can smoke your crack, your opiates, and your tobacky all at once or in succession if you'd like, and all the while make it taste like weed, or maybe even beer. Everything will be legal, because this is how people, themselves, want to realize there are far more important things in life: by having the freedom to see for themselves how insignificant it is to have frivolous freedoms, which distract from the more long-lasting fulfillments... and besides, the local governments which rise to power as a result of local corporate sponsorship, diminishing the federal tapestry of control, will decide it's far more profitable, both socially and economically, to regulate sales by taxation, rather than usage by law enforcement. There will still be drug wars, though. Cyberhacked proprietary tech, political slander, cock-blocked sponsorships... all a nice chance-dance for every legal business to stifle every other into a muted equilibrium of power. Humans will get even better at receding into their freedoms before they blossom into their responsibilities. And all the while, the planets and squirrels, already empathize perfectly with each other, there in the rhizoverse. Mother nature may be constructive, may even be destructive, but it is never truly violent.

  • AT 8PM, ON PULSAR-LIGHT-SAVINGS TIME, SEPTEMBER 23rd, 3046, THE CORPORATION FORMERLY KNOWN AS 'BILL GRAHAM PRESENTS' ...WILL PRESENT:
    A HISTORICALLY ACCURATE REPRODUCTION OF AMON TOBIN'S ISAM!

    Disseminated to your living room via full-surround holovirtual streaming!

  • "Society of the Spectacle":
    http://www.bopsecrets.org/SI/debord/

  • **//Day 33 - Part 2//**

    The rhizoverse exists as a web of all things, connected merely by their sentience. The physics of this universe do not apply there... but that is not to say that there are no physics. One might say the laws are simply different, ...but then that one would have to be a complete fool! ...for even the nature of law itself is different... 'more like guidelines really', a veritable 'Pirate's Physics', if you will.
    In this universe, the bigger an object is, the more gravitational attraction it exerts upon the objects around it, but in the rhizoverse, all things generate the same amount of sentience, and this is the ethereal matter which connects them; the only time one might move in reaction to another is by a kind of choice, for it is possible to withdraw or even simply stifle your own sentience from the rhizoverse at any given time(imagine being able to stifle your own gravitational attraction, without having to lose your connection to the Earth or any other heavenly body entirely... but of course, this is a bad comparison, because physical space determines how we detect gravitational interactions, whereas in the rhizoverse, there is a different concept of physical space: things are arranged at different parts of the rhizoverse web, but the idea of 'distance' and 'closeness' do not exist since such characteristics of things are completely malleable).
    Here in this universe, we know the origin to be The Big Bang. There in the rhizoverse, it can be hypothesized that The Spindle Galaxy was the origin of all things, but it exists at different places and different times in a way that cannot be predicted nor ascertained by traditional methods based on linear time and three-dimensional space. In the rhizoverse, we have only come to discover this phenomenon and guess as to its nature, because whenever a being happens to be near where The Spindle Galaxy suddenly appears, they suddenly have access to newer time periods which never existed before(not just in the future, but time periods in the past, which were never known to exist before, nor had any trace found in the concurrent futures that sprung from those pasts). This is how we've come to know of The Spindle Galaxy, and of how it not only revives the temporal and sentient connections embodied by the networked threads of the rhizoverse, but also generates new connections there. It has also been hypothesized, due to the fact that The Spindle Galaxy is the only known galaxy in all the universes to react to changes in the environment around it in a way which is somewhat logically preferential to its own continuous survival, that The Spindle Galaxy is actually a sentient being itself. It is difficult to show a graphic representation of The Spindle Galaxy, but the depiction below comes close to how it might look if the parameters of its sentience were transposed to the physical light spectrum. One can even notice what is known as 'The Great Time Folded Fortress' which moves with a certain churning rhythm, like a heartbeat which pumps time and its own form of consciousness throughout The Spindle Galaxy, onward, upward, and outward into the rhizoverse and all universes beyond.

  • Well... That was ...surreal to say the least! Gave me a good laugh, thanks Raja. Reminds me of Frank Zappa's early 'in the field' audio captures incorporated into his music, not to mention some of his video stuff, like 200 Motels...